


Time

by Ash2411



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, What Ifs, goodbye Bev, never going to be over it, still crying, will and Bev had sooooo much untapped potential
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26188117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash2411/pseuds/Ash2411
Summary: Will struggles with Beverly’s loss and all the what-ifs that fill his head.
Relationships: Will Graham/Beverly Katz
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	Time

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after Bev has been killed and after Will has been released. Somewhere in that time span, the night before her funeral.

“Willard Wiggins,” a voice says softly. 

Will’s fingers still as he winds the wire around the bait. “What’s that?” He mumbles. 

“Wiggins.”

Beverly Katz walks towards him, rubbing her arms like she’s cold. Something stirs in Will’s mind. 

“Have we had this conversation before?” Will asks, looking up at her. 

“Deja vú?” Bev asks with a smile.

“Pathological or non-pathological?” Will asks. The corner of his lips tugs upwards. 

“Well given your history with hallucinations…” 

Will turns around and finally looks at her. “Are you calling me crazy, Beverly?” 

“If the shoe fits…” Bev says with a wry smile. 

Will looks at her smile and it warms him to his toes. But a cold chill runs down his spine almost immediately after. 

“You okay?” Bev asks, coming closer. Will stands up and they’re almost uncomfortably close. Except Will doesn’t feel _un_ comfortable at all. Beverly smells fresh and citrusy. Her hair shines like raven’s wings and her eyes sparkle in the light of the fire. 

Will looks away, unable to hold her intense gaze. He notices that the sky is pitch black and the stars are sparkling. _Where did the time go?_

He looks back and notices something about Beverly too. 

“Are you wearing one of my flannels?” Will says, chuckling. 

“You caught me.” Bev says with a shrug. 

“I always kinda wondered what you’d look like in my shirts.” Will admits, scratching the back of his head. “Did I say that out loud?” 

Beverly nods her head, grinning. “You don’t have to wonder anymore. Now you know.” 

The feeling in his stomach doesn’t seem to match what the rest of his body is feeling. “I feel…strange. Like, I’m forgetting something important.” 

“It’ll pass,” Beverly says, resting her hand on his arm. “Let’s lay down. It might make you feel more grounded.” 

She leads the way to his bedroom, the dogs trotting after her. Will watches her walk into his lit room and follows. She’s already laying down on his bed, and as if by muscle memory, he kicks off his shoes and socks, sheds his button up and khakis and crawls into bed next to her. They face one another, knees curled up and touching. It all feels so natural and a sense of safety and peace curls up in Will’s heart and makes a nest there, much as Beverly herself had ever since that day in the lab when she’d asked if he was okay, letting him know that should he need her, she’d be there. Will needs her. He needs her now more than ever. 

Beverly lifts her hand and rests it on Will’s face, her thumb gently stroking his cheek. Before he can think twice Will places his hand on top of hers and turns his face until his lips caress her palm. He closes his eyes and squeezes her small hand. 

“You gonna come closer or what?” Will asks, pulling her forward. Bev grins and throws her arm around his middle, snuggling in close until her head rests against his chest and his arms encircle her entirely. 

“I can hear your heartbeat,” Beverly whispers. 

“Well, that’s reassuring,” Will murmurs, too focused on the warmth of her body beneath his hands, only a layer of flannel standing between him and her naked skin. 

He thinks he hears a hoof clack against the hardwood floor and opens his eyes, looking around for the stag he knows is hiding just out of sight. “Did you hear that?” 

“It’s okay, Will,” Beverly says, turning his chin towards her with her fingertips. “You’re okay.” 

“Am I?” Will asks, the strange feeling beginning to itch beneath his skin again. 

“You will be,” Bev says, a hint of sadness in her voice. “We don’t have much time, though.” 

“There never seems to be enough time,” Will responds, an out of place bitterness resting on his tongue. 

“There isn’t. You’re always going to wish there was more time, Will. But you can’t make time go backwards and you can’t stop it, so you have to keep swimming or else the current of the stream will carry you away and-“ 

“I’ll drown,” Will finishes. He rolls them over so that Beverly is settled comfortably beneath him. He moves her hair back from her face and looks down into her dark eyes. “What if I want to drown? What if...what if I just want to hold onto you and sink?” 

“I’ll cut the ropes before I’ll let that happen,” Beverly says with a sad smile. “Things are going to get tough, Will.” 

“Things are already tough,” Will says, nuzzling his face into her neck. 

Beverly plays with the curls at the nape of his neck. “They’re going to get tougher. Much tougher. You’re going to think about letting the water into your lungs a lot, Will, but you can’t stop kicking your way towards the surface.” 

“I’m different, Beverly,” Will says. His mind tries to form the right words to describe what he’s feeling. “I feel…darker. And less afraid of that darkness. But, I don’t _like_ it. Everyone thinks I like it because I spend all my time there, but I don’t.” His heart speeds up beneath Beverly’s fingers. “I don’t.”

“I know,” Beverly soothes. “Listen to me - you’re going to reach a point in time where you may feel yourself breaking apart and when you do, think of me. I never gave up on you, Will. You’re my friend. And yeah, you’re a little weird-“ Will scrunches his nose up at that “-but you’re good, Graham. I’ve seen it. Your dogs see it. People are going to ask you to prove it and maybe you won’t be able to, but what matters is that _you_ know.”

“What if I don’t?” Will says, raising up on his elbows again.

Beverly brushes his hair back from his forehead. “You will.” 

“You’re the only person who ever saw me.” Will says, quietly. “You’re the only one who saw me and didn’t shy away. You never asked for anything.” Will hears the hooves pounding in the snow outside and a weight begins to settle on his chest. “We should’ve done this while we could. I should’ve held your hand.”

“You’re holding it now.” Beverly whispers. 

“I should’ve been more than your friend,” Will confesses. The unspoken desire trickles from his mouth like drops of blood. “I wanted to be more than your friend, Beverly.” 

He cups her face in his palms and moves to kiss her but although her lips hover so close that Will can almost feel their warmth, they don’t touch his own. 

“I have to go, Will,” she whispers. 

“Please don’t leave me,” Will says, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. 

“You know I have to,” Bev says, her lips brushing his. 

“I’m so sorry,” Will breathes. He can’t look away from her. Every second matters. The weight is getting heavier. 

“Don’t be,” she says firmly. “Kiss me or you’ll really be sorry.” 

“I can’t, Bev.” He’s never used her nickname before. It perches on his tongue, sweet like melting candy.

“Why not?” Bev asks. 

Will tries to focus on the sound of her voice and the warmth of her body, but the weight has finally settled and the beat of heavy hooves is growing closer. 

“Because I can’t even begin to _imagine_ how remarkable it would be to kiss you.” Will says, his eyes falling closed. A tear escapes and rolls down his cheek…

When he wakes up, his cheek is still damp, but light is filtering in through the windows. He keeps his eyes squeezed shut. His hand wanders over to the other side of the bed, but there’s nothing there. After a few moments he opens his eyes to the blank space next to him. Just beyond it awaits his pressed black suit, hanging on the back of his door. 

He hears the _click-clack_ of little paws on the floor and only seconds later Winston rests his head on the mattress. Will reaches out and pets the soft fur between his spotted ears. 

  
  
  
  



End file.
